1) Statistically, the biggest indicator of success by age 32, is having
self-control at age 12.
Success is determined by a lot of factors namely no drug, no criminal
violation, having a stable job, good citizenship, etc
2) Make your kids speak their native language at home and with you. Reduce the generation gap by involving their grandparents in their lives. If possible
try to convince their grandparents to move in with you.
3) Make them feel proud of their heritage. Kids nowadays are ashamed to
talk their language or wear their cultural attire. In a quest to fit in and
assimilate they want to no longer associate with their roots.
4) Have a friend circle with folks whose kids also are able to communicate
in the same mother tongue. This way the kids can talk the language among
themselves.
5) Do not give them smartphones until you know they are responsible. Buy
them a dumbphone if required. This phone will fulfill your needs.
6) He went on to compare American society of the 50s to now. The family unit
used to be the focus of ads and movies. How media has changed. At that time
shows that depict parents as role models having strong moral characters
were popular. Now shows like Simpsons etc that show Parents as dumb are
popular. Make sure u keep track of things your kids watch. The more they
watch shows like this the more they will lose respect for you as a parent.
7) Keep them away from games that promote violence and vice. He talked
about Fortnite and Grand Theft Auto. Grand theft auto in particular rewards
a person for doing all the wrong stuff like stealing cars and killing
people. What kind of character is that going to build. He talked about how
violence in games is directly related to gun violence in America with
statistical examples.
8) No TV or computers in the bedroom. Kids cannot be in the bedroom with
screen whether its school work or something else. Make family room a place
where screen time is allowed. Follow the example yourself as well. Bedroom
should be a place to go to sleep not to socialize with the outside world.
9) Keep kids away from Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook if possible as long
as possible. Put monitoring software on their devices so that every single
picture they take or Share , u get notified. Take their phones away at 9 in
the night and give it back to them in the morning. Tell them that this is a
condition going forward if they would like to keep their phone.
10) Be a peer to them but not a friend. If you become too friendly with the
kids, they will start taking you for granted. Speak to them from a place of
authority where No means No. When you take away the privileges from kids
for their bad actions, they are going to resist. Be firm, remember you are
the Parent.
11) Girls according to statistics are greatly influenced by Instagram and
snapchat. Girls by nature will always post the good thing happening in
their lives. This will create a false illusion among other girls and lead
them to think that their life is a mess and make them go into depression.
Boys are more influenced by video games. Limit screen time to 20 minutes a
day during the week and 1 hour on weekends. But the condition is they
complete all their school work. If they do not listen take away their
devices.
12) Raise kids with humility. A very important characteristic. This can be
inculcated by making them do chores at home even though u can afford maids.
He said that the typical thing that parents say is my son/daughter is
already so busy I cannot burden him or her. This is a very wrong approach
and will make your kids grow up with a feeling of entitlement and
selfishness.
13) The biggest detrimental effect of increased screen time or social media
is the displacement effect. Which means that the time they are spending on
games is the time they are not spending on something useful.
14) Know what kind of music they listen to. The music of these times are
ripe with sexual innuendo . Make sure they do not make people like Justin
Bieber or Akon as their role models. He gave example of how the chartbuster
song last year with some 1 billion or so downloads was filled with the most
sexual content imaginable.
15) T-shirts with stuff written with rude and offensive remarks like "I
will trade wifi for my Brother", "I don't care" etc should not be
encouraged. T-shirts of these types when shown in Scotland and Australia,
people found it very offensive. He actually talked abt a guy he found
wandering the Streets of Australia who was wearing this type of T-shirt .
When Dr. Sax approached he found out he was an American visiting Australia.
16) America is one of the leading countries where drugs are given to kids
in the name of ADHD and Depression. The statistics he said was the whole of
France does not prescribe medicine for these disorders as much as they
would do in entire Houston. Any small issues with A Kid, he is treated with
anti depression medicine. This is all destroying a generation.
17) He said religion is a very important factor in people's life. Now a
day's people have made popularity, fame, money etc as their God. When
people lack a higher purpose in life then they try to make materialistic
things as their end goal.
18) When they surveyed people in the 1980s in America as to what are the 15
most important qualities or characteristics people should possess. Having
good character and helping people etc were all top of the list and being
famous was on number 15 on the list. Today becoming famous is at number
one. Signs of the changing times.
19) There is a big industry that makes phone apps that look like
calculators, but when you enter a certain number it opens into an app that
shows pornographic images. This way the kids can fool their parents. It
goes beyond this. If the kid shakes the phone before handing over to the
parent, the app disappears without a trace, not even in the recent list.
Unless u download certain monitoring software it will be difficult for
parents to keep on top of their kids online activity. Netnanny is one of
the software he recommended.
20) The kids who are addicted to online bad video games, when we ask them,
are there any changes in their personality, they compare themselves with
who are their peers and in similar situation and feel that they are OK,
normal. But they are not comparing with normal kids who are not addicted.
22) Having dinner/meal with family is very important. The kids who eat 7 or
more times in a week with family vs those who eat alone, there is big
difference in their stress level and self control and happiness
23) if you give 20 min screen time to your kids per day and if they don't
use it, those min should not roll over to future dates.
24) Sexting is very common nowadays. It is felony in certain states and
kids may end up in jail. If a 16 year old is caught with explicit photos of
another 16 year old on his/her phone, he or she will be charged and sent to
jail and live as a registered sexual offender for rest of their life.
Please make sure your kids are aware of the consequences of these acts.
25) Snapchat photos do not necessarily vanish in 5 sec. There are Apps that
circumvent this restriction and allow you to take screen shots of photos
without letting the sender know.
26) For current generation 'how they look' is more important than 'who they
are'
27) Finally, the Doctor added a very important point. He said Human beings
have the longest period of childhood of all Mammals. Horses run Derbys when
they are aged 3. This is by design for a reason. God has created human
beings to have a long period (18 years) in which they are nurtured and the
values re-enforced so that they stick with the individual for the rest of
his/her life. Once the formative years are lost it is very difficult for an
individual to change.
Feel free to share this information in your friend circle
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