This post is worth reading as it will help you get a lot many answers to your queries that why this is happening to us despite doing so much for near and dear ones.
Dr. Hari was in consultation with a middle-aged couple. They started fighting right in front of him.
The upset husband said: 'See doc... I 'Care' so much for her and this is what I get in return. To which, the fuming wife replied: He doesn't care... he just 'Controls'..!
The care from one person was perceived as control by another!
This made Dr. Hari think a lot...
What is the care and what is control?
How to identify them?
Soon he received the answer in his house itself.
He had an argument with his teenage daughter over a trivial disciplinary issue...
Harsh (though indirect) words were exchanged leaving both in tears...
After some time, as their emotions settled down, both said sorry to each other...
His daughter hugged him and said Papa, you know why you got upset? You were not upset because I did wrong... but you were upset because I did not follow your instructions..!
There is a big difference..!
He was stunned by her mature thinking pattern...
He received his answer too...
He was trying to control her under the disguise of care... that caused the
conflict.
Moral
If you really 'care' for someone, you will not get upset or angry with that person. You will keep searching for different ways to help him or her.
If you are struggling in any relationship you need to closely observe if there is any subtle control hidden behind your apparent care...
Because Care is an expression of love while Control is an expression of ownership...
Control cuts...
Care connects...
Control hurts...
Care heals...
Keep caring for people but, do not control them...
Often people are not wrong... they are just 'different...
Keep caring...